seniority.

a couple weeks ago, my wonderful sister and her husband took me out to Black Rock for senior pictures. now I know they aren't typical. I guess it was more of just "takethedamnpictureandwewillusewhateverweget."

[enjoy]

dont mind the veins. #getitfrommydad

I couldn't be more excited to graduate. I truly am ready to take a leap off the cliff of dependancy, and fly into adulthood. no matter how hard it may be. I am ready to face it.

xx danielle

this is for you.

Oh goodness, today was an amazing day. I got to spend two hours with a dear friend who made me think about a lot.

There really are so many things I want to say in this post, but I can't string together my tattered thoughts well enough to make them flow, so I guess I will just focus on one thing.

{LOVE}

Love is;

making a baby smile/laugh,

watching a baby sneeze,

looking in the mirror and not thinking something harsh,

waking up in the middle of the night with your pet at the foot of your bed,

tickle fights,

music,

rejection,

siblings,

being really attached to fictional characters,

passionate,

love is chemicals [literally],

it's driving with your windows down in st. george blasting country music,

 selfless,

feeling like you want to give everything to one person even if you get nothing back,

aching to offer them everything they deserve.

going out of your way to do something kind, 

feeling sad,

feeling lonely,

crying,

heartbreak, 

butterflies,

summer,

self-confidence,

its thinking about your future,

its caring about yourself,

caring about others.

love is so many things, so many great things. you don't need to be IN love to know what love is. it's just those moments where you smile to yourself, and say, "this, is happiness."

I love you, D.

xx, danielle

beauty

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"It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly, because we don’t really see ourselves. We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm. We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing. You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside your heart. There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you. You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself."

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The solution to being sad.

Okay, so I've found that when I am sad, I do one of two things.
1. I shut myself down, and hide from everyone, and everything. I listen to depressing music and I sleep. A lot. {selfish}
2. On the flip side, I go completely out of my way to make other people happy. I will change my entire day to do something special for someone. {selfless}]

now, obviously number two is better. that's why I took advantage of my options this week.
Ps. Here's a happy song

Around 3:30 I called my friend Emily Millard, and I told her I wanted to bake cookies for a certain someone. I went to her house and we made cookies for him. But I felt like the treat wasn't enough. so I wrote him a letter. I wrote a letter straight from my heart. no lies, no fake compliments. just kindness. and then I hand delivered it to him.

Let me tell you, it was probably the most nerve wracking thing I have EVER done. I know this guy and I are friends but I was terrified he would think I'm a freak because in today's world, outward expression of kindness and love are absurd, and extremely hard to come across. So when he answered the door with a shocked look on his face, I felt like a complete idiot, ybut then he gave me a hug and thanked me. and it turned out even better when he sent me a very nice text later.

Knowing that I have the power to make someone feel good about themselves and feel truly proud to be who they are is such a gift. and I don't know why we, as humans, don't use it more often. When you know some one believes in you, and thinks so highly of you it's a feeling of bliss, of pure happiness. That feeling, led me to add a new goal on the list I made earlier this week.

• Do something selfless for someone once every seven days. Make them happy.

By making others happy, it makes me feel proud of myself. of who I am. I think that if I can be more honest about my feelings, be a little less selfish and lot more selfless, then happiness will make it's way into my life.

I encourage all of my readers to do the same as well. 

xx danielle

Danielle,

R E S P E C T. we all know the song. it's supposed to be as easy as ABC. but most men and women don't get it.  I just don't understand. If you KNOW a girl likes you, or a boy for that matter, then why don't you give them the respect they deserve, speak your mind and tell them how you feel back? it spares everyone's feelings. and who knows what will come of your honesty?
I know that I personally hate rejecting a boy. but it's the right thing to do when I'm not feeling the love. when I'm asked out [like that ever happens] I've found that 1. the majority of men gain more respect for me when I tell them how I feel, honestly. and 2: I feel better about myself when I know I have spared them the feelings I feel after I've found out I've been lead on. <<<------ that was a big, somewhat confusing sentence. feel free to read it again or not.

this is a post to me.

Dear Danielle,

you need to stop worryin, girl. life happens. you will find someone who loves you, you will get married, you will have children who think the world of you. Currently, you have family that loves you, a roof over your head and food to feed your belly. you are blessed with things that other people don't have. so stop feeling like it's the end of the world that he doesn't like you. but also, stop letting him drag you around. you are not his puppet, bitch, or slave. Stop letting boys walk all over you because you're scared to lose them. If they want to be in your book of life, they will write themselves in when you're not looking.
In the meantime, start telling people how you feel. You like those boys? tell them. you want to kiss someone? kiss them. It's your senior year of high school. you graduate in F I F T Y - S E V E N days. go do what you want, I mean, honestly. you're never going to see these people again. and if you do, well at least they will remember who you are. [ohhh you're danielle, yeah! I remember you, you did that one thing!] is a lot better than, [forgive me, but what's your name again? you did nothing memorable enough for me to remember who you are] it's like in We Bought a Zoo.

 

I think you need to have 20 seconds of courage everyday. who knows what will happen to your life, and how it will affect you. danielle, you are good enough. whether you are told that often or never at all. 

xx danielle